Blondie – Heart Of Glass (Stretched 7″ Version)

It’s been a few years since I last made any music and as far as I’m aware, there was no way to create something like this (at least, not without becoming granular) at the time. However, now, someone, by the name of telegenicx, has managed to time-stretch Blondie’s Heart Of Glass (as well as a load of other tunes) to nearly 30 minutes long. It’s a beautiful piece or almost industrial ambience. My new favourite band! Straight to Dirpy and into iTunes. []

Mr Bingo’s Hate Mail

Very occasionally, Mr Bingo will offer to send you a postcard. You’ll pay him £10 and on that postcard, he’ll write something or draw a picture for you. Nice hey? Well, don’t expect it to boost your confidence, self-esteem or help you with your PMA; it won’t. You see, he sends Hate Mail!

Michael Joseph (an imprint of Penguin Books) have recently published a small hardback book of 100 of these unique postcards in a book of the same name; Hate Mail. I’m sure that you’ve already got some preconceived ideas of the kind of messages that he sends. Maybe you’re near the mark but I suspect that you may be quite a way off. The fact that the book comes with a warning sticker on the front gives it away. It’s a warning that I thought about passing on here, dear reader…. but then I thought fuck it! So, hate mails… The nearest thing to simple “I hate you” kind of thing (apart from the one written in a heart!) comes with the addition of hating you since 1987 or “I fucking hate you”. Subtle emphasis, I think you’ll agree! These pieces of hate are among the most kind in the book too. The other postcards could have easily been accompanied with a one-way ticket to therapy! “People don’t stare at you because you’re attractive. People stare at you because you’re odd.” You get the idea.

And as if these insults aren’t personal enough, much of the time, Mr Bingo’s messages are completely personalised. The three people sitting on a bench are talking about Paul Martin; there’s no generic messages here. Each one has hand written and hand drawn, directed to an individual and addressed accordingly. In fact, every name and address is included in this book! And the actual postcards… many of them are so mundane that many discerning viewers will find them as offensive as the comments left on the other side! I mean, I know you lot are very design-savvy… what were they thinking back in the day when they designed these things! Dogs with balls, kittens in baskets, beaches, market towns, flowers… actually, nothing much has changed in postcard design, has it?!

I thought about dropping Mr Bingo a line and asking him to write me a postcard for inclusion in this review but then I noticed that, understandably, he doesn’t really like working for free. I’m sure Mr Bingo’s a nice guy. He ought to be considering he’s found an outlet for all his hatred and anger! Get a copy for yourself or your loved ones (or hated ones) direct from Penguin Books or from the usual places like Amazon UK. You could always take a leaf out of Mr Bing’s book and write one yourself and send it to someone special… I can think of a few people on my list!